New Yorker Article

Florida’s Surgeon-General Nominee Urges CVS to Stock Leeches

By Andy Borowitz

February 9, 2022

TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Joseph Ladapo, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s nominee for surgeon general, stirred controversy by urging the pharmacy chain CVS to carry leeches.

“The ancient Egyptians used leeches in medical treatments more than three thousand years ago,” Ladapo said at his confirmation hearing. “Unlike some quote-unquote vaccines, leeches have stood the test of time.”

Ladapo said that he was dismayed when he recently visited a CVS and found “plenty of masks and test kits, but no leeches.”

“There wasn’t even a leech aisle,” he added, shaking his head.

Praising Ladapo for “thinking outside the box” to combat the pandemic, DeSantis confirmed that he was mulling a leech mandate for Florida’s schools.